October 1, 2017
Bobbi went with her brother Mike to Traverse City this morning to see Lori. They will leave Wednesday early for her 3rd treatment, they will meet me at the cabin in DeTour Village after. With her having such a difficult day yesterday I’m hoping for the best on her visit.
She doesn’t let anything stop her from embracing life at full speed. It’s difficult watching the one you love struggle with a health battle, but certainly not as hard as it is for them going through it. Really dread Wednesday’s and the days after. Have never experienced anything like this. The home feels so empty without her. Well, it isn’t a home without her. Have the Lions game on but she’s all I’m thinking about. I am in such awe of her. Her spirit has lifted many throughout her life. She’s personally saved me in more ways that can be counted. When we met I stayed out too late, drove motorcycles too fast, and after we met was in bed by 10:00 each night! Always got up with her at 4:30 while she got ready to go to work. Missing your best friend sucks. I’ve dealt with Asperger challenges throughout my life and she has helped in countless ways with this.
Somedays we take so much in life for granted, thinking that we’ll have forever to live and enjoy. Scares like this sure put things in perspective fast. I know she WILL beat this, we don’t allow any other thought. I feel bad I won’t be with her on the next treatment but glad she’ll be with her sister. We use laughter and love to get through the rough days, but yet silent tears slowly roll out while looking out the window alone in the middle of the night. Sometimes I think I hoover over her like a helicopter but can’t seem to help it.
Her attitude is great. Friends not need worry about this. Each know her and the pictures shared show you how each know her. Free spirit, happy, and positive. Each have a story about her. I can not express enough how much this support has helped her. All she’s ever cared about, above monetary and material things, is her family and friends. While I dealt with my health battle she was the rock. Now I’m fortunate to be one of hers. It hasn’t been easy for either, lots of sleepless nights. But it’s taught us how lucky we are to have lived the life we chose to live. We have a long battle ahead. Yet don’t look at the length of it, but the quality of it. She’s always been a giver in life, never a taker. I’m so proud to have her as my wife. So very proud of her attitude taking on this battle. Have naturally always heard of the word cancer, and now it’s one I hate to hear. We talked many times about sharing this experience. So her family and friends can stay updated, and what’s been important to her is to possibly inspire others who themselves are fighting this terrible disease. Pancreatic cancer is a tough one, they all are. It’s a tough battle for people to go through. She had the choice to lay back and feel bad, or get up, get dressed, and swing away at it. It tells you her character. A lot of unanswered concerns. A big surgery not too far from now.
We can and we WILL get through this. Thank you for the calls, comments, facybook messages to all! She is a fighter, always has been. She will beat this!